I think most film reviews are pretentious and long-winded. Also, they usually don't adequately address the question of whether or not the films are worth your time. I think Netflix has the right idea with a 5-star system, which I will use on this site, but with some modified definitions:
I will go out of my way to get people to see this film and it will cause me to marvel at the fact that anyone was talented enough to make it.
This is a worthwhile film. There are probably too many of them but you should see them all at some point.
This is a film I enjoyed or at least learned something from. I wouldn't necessarily recommend it to anyone but I do not regret in the least taking the time to watch it.
I wish I hadn't wasted my time watching this. Nothing new here.
This is a very rare kind of film for me. I am annoyed that anybody thought it would be a good idea to make or watch this film. I thought about turning it off (or did) during the beginning, middle and end.